Miracles and Losses

Sometimes, some people get an awful hand in life. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. I do not know why. I will never pretend to know.  I have met a lot of people who believe they have the answers. They do not. Once, I had some one point out during my grief after IContinue reading “Miracles and Losses”

Codependency

I started being unkind to myself sometime around when my parents split up. We think things like this are “normal” because they are common. Yet, there is nothing normal about going through the developmental stages of adolescence with two parents in the same house who somewhat suddenly split up. As a child that is veryContinue reading “Codependency”

Mindful of Therapy

Four years ago, amid postpartum anxiety, after being awake for several nights in a row, I could not understand why my body and my mind were not lining up. I was suffering from insomnia, and I was battling constant negative thinking. I was battling with all my might, trying so hard to get better. IContinue reading “Mindful of Therapy”

Finding Meaning

_ _ _ _ _ I remember standing in what used to be my childhood bedroom. It was covered in ash and ice. The once warm red walls were discolored with holes all around. I should not have been there. The firemen said it was not safe. There was caution tape wrapped around the entranceContinue reading “Finding Meaning”

Addiction Awareness: Mike Verdun

Mike tore his knee twice in football during college. After his 2nd surgery, he began using painkillers. At first, it was just to recover, but then he could not stop. He went from drinking and doing drugs as part of the college experience to being fully addicted. He began to only feel comfortable when heContinue reading “Addiction Awareness: Mike Verdun”

Clothes For a Funeral

I pulled up to my grandmother’s little stone house so that I could pick out clothes for my mother to be buried in. My mother had been staying with my grandmother at the time. My sisters told me that I could pick the clothes, and that they trusted my judgement. Everything looked the same inContinue reading “Clothes For a Funeral”

Control Freak

I had no idea I was a control freak until I was 30 years old. When I think of a control freak, I think of someone who must load the dishwasher a certain way. Some one who will reload the dishwasher if some one else does it “incorrectly.” I think of the type of personContinue reading “Control Freak”

Hope

My family sat in a conference room near the waiting room of the hospital intensive care unit, so the doctor could inform us that my mother would die. The lights were bright white, and so were the walls. The chairs had a faded blue fabric, each one the same. There were probably pictures on theContinue reading “Hope”

Addiction Awareness: Story of Anthony Coma

Adversity introduces us to ourselves. We fall from all our ideals into a scary, unknown, and dark place. And that is when we find out who we really are. For Coma, he fell right out of a tree. Yes, literally, a tree. It was in high school. He experienced the brutal heaviness of caring whatContinue reading “Addiction Awareness: Story of Anthony Coma”

Healthy Self-Care: What It Is and What It Is Not

In the rise of panic, I have told myself not to even engage with a single fearful thought. In the weight of sadness, I have come home from work to overeat pizza and ice cream. In the flicker of doubt, I have drank an extra glass of wine to feel confident. I have numbed myContinue reading “Healthy Self-Care: What It Is and What It Is Not”